More on Unrequited Love with Lisa Phillips and a Book Giveaway!


On last week’s show, we had a fascinating interview with Lisa Phillips, the author of Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession. Her book is a mesmerizing read, tracking the history of how unrequited love has been viewed historically in psychology and romantic literature through how we look at romantic obsession today. Our questions for Lisa led to more questions for Lisa! So, via email, she’s answered a few final ones we’ve not been able to let go of quite yet.

And, for those of you who want more for yourself, you can win a copy of Lisa’s book!

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Coming 2/8! Forever Love?! and “Get this sex juice outta my sheets”!


Valentine’s Day is coming up.

We’re single. So it’s not exactly like we’re planning and uber-romantic trips to the Caribbean or anticipating any magical rings from Frodo that will portend a very expensive party to come.

Instead, in celebration of the impending chocolate and caviar-filled holiday, we’re talking sweet and sour… just the two of us… for the entire show.


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Our Playlist and Menu for Heartache and Heartbreak

We’ve all been there. You’re pining over someone who’s just broken your heart, or you haven’t quite convinced them about your potential perfection as a couple. You play that same song over and over. You eschew calories for the tub or bag or bowl of whatever’s gonna at least make your tongue and stomach feel a bit less alone.

We get you. We’ve been there, too.

So in celebration of today’s show with Lisa Phillips, the author of Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsessionand every single person’s favorite upcoming holiday, here are our favorite things for heartache and heartbreak.

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Ben Speaks: The Examined Life

(The following is Ben’s response to our Why We Didn’t Work series. Listen to his episode here, find more about the project here, and read Jacqueline’s response here.)

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates

Yeah, those ancient Greeks knew some shit.

I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve been in therapy for a long time.  Quite to the contrary, I’m proud to admit it.  Self-examination and personal growth are not only fun, fascinating, and freeing; they also form the core of my personal values, so my experience with therapist Vienna Pharaon, exploring “What Went Wrong” in my past relationships live on the radio, while vulnerable, was not altogether unfamiliar.  Together, we probed some of my known demons from her unique perspective and illuminated others in light of new information found in the answers given by my exes to questions about our history.  Many noteworthy insights were explored:

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What Happens After We Were Told “Why We Didn’t Work”

One cozy December evening, I (Jacqueline) was out drinking martinis with pastry chef friend Paulette Goto, talking about past loves. We dug into the nitty gritty around breakups: Do you remember the reasons for them clearly? Do those reasons change with some hindsight? Did your ex really tell you all they were thinking and feeling at the time? Do you have any regrets? Might they?

That night, using the radio show and my job as a writer as an excuse, I came up with five questions I’d ask some of my exes, as a little social experiment of sorts. Why did we break up? What didn’t work about us over the course of our relationship? What did? When they think about me now (as Paulette assured me they obviously do), what do they think of? And do they have any regrets?  Continue reading